So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
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