dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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