My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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