hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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