My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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