im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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