he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She said her name was "party"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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