So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
