I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
