Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
