She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
