Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize