She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize