We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
