i think my tv is drunk
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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