I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
