i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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