I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
