i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize