He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
