At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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