I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize