Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
MIDGETS
????
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
