Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
