Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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