I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I need moral support for this bender
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
