I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
