Kiss
Puke
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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