We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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