no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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