Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hippo gnu deer
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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