wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
