K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
