A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
