So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He did a backflip because drugs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
