I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
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He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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