Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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