He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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