Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
