Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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