I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
