Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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