Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
