No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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