peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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