Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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