I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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