i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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