I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
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We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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