I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Come share oat with me in your robe
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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