so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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