listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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