He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
