her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
