We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No subtext here. People are naked.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
