I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize