didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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