she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize