I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
