That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
