David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
