It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
its liver damage thursday
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
