Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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