girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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