If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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