You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
