Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
